My camera essay

I was born with two speech impediments. I was a shy kid, with a crooked smile, who couldn’t pronounce any words correctly. Participating in theatre was the last thing anyone expected of me. Yet I wanted to sway crowds with my voice, make them cry, laugh and shout for joy. I was a terrified 10-year-old the first time I stepped on stage, and equally frightened moments before I finally performed at Lincoln Center. I walked slowly to my position full of fear, but when the spotlight hit my face, there was no trepidation, only a calmness and quiet determination. In that moment all the long hours of struggle fell into place. I had already accomplished what I had set out to do before my final performance. Just being there, having worked as hard as I had, made all the worry dissipate. It was just me and the light.

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This brought tears to my eyes. The women in my family all have thick legs, no matter what we do. It’s balanced out by small waists, but it makes pants shopping a nightmare. I’ve always been so self conscious about my knees and calves especially. Once, I wrote a short paragraph for a magazine contest on how I’d grown to love my strong, curvy legs. I won, but they changed my words to “long and slender” and cropped my legs out of the picture. It still makes me furious to this day. It was supposed to be an empowering article about women’s self-confidence, but just reverted to cookie cutter beauty standards. Anyway, thank you for writing this. Knowing that we’re not alone in the self acceptance process is both empowering and comforting.

My camera essay

my camera essay


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